Friday 13 June 2014

Bill's Banana Goal

How much fun can you have for £1?

You could have a lot of fun (and get lots of serious information and support) by joining Hafal. Membership is from £1 (free for in-patients and prisoners) - details here.

There is really no competition with that bargain but another way to obtain thrills for just £1 is to join the Hafal Head Office World Cup Sweep-Stake. Actually it is restricted to staff here so bad luck.

For some reason I was made to buy two tickets and so get twice the nail-biting, unbearable tension of seeing my team go down in the first round - or else the massive surge of adrenalin as they head for the finals.

My two teams are Croatia and (wait for it) England. I learnt this morning that Croatia were robbed by Brazil last night: a player improbably named Fred took a dive (FIFA call it a "simulation") to obtain a penalty at the expense of my plucky Balkan friends.

Actually I couldn't name a single member of the Croatian team and the same is true of England. I remember Gazza but he must have moved on by now?

Like my rugby career my soccer experience started well. I was a demon outside left and once scored direct from a corner kick in my under 8 team against another school - "Bill's banana goal" as it was known to legend.

After that it was all downhill. My memories are of idling mid-field in pouring rain as part of a reluctant house third eleven, seven nil to them if anybody was counting.

If Croatia aren't in it then nor are England apparently. Professor Stephen Hawking has used his weird brain and a lot of boring statistics to calculate that they have a 5% chance of winning so I'm not staying up or staying in to follow that.

Fishing is the sport for me. If England win I will only know when I get the money which I will spend on mackerel feathers. In fact in murky West Wales water the best ones are made with silver foil not feathers - mackerel are so greedy and stupid you just want whatever is most visible. And they cost about £1 if you buy carefully on-line.